What God has done for me

God has been working on me for quite some time now. I have been struggling with my salvation for quite some time. I remember when I was at camp when I was about 16, that the preacher was preaching about going to hell. I remember being terrified of going to hell, and well, frankly...I believe that I said the prayer to get out of going to hell. I mean I knew that Jesus died on the cross for my sins....but well..... I just didn't take him personally that day. I did a little cop-out....I said the prayer so I could get into heaven.
Recently in the past year or so, I've been struggling with that prayer that day. Did I really get saved that day? Did I really take Him as my personal Saviour? Did I really mean it? It seemed like I would solidify that I was saved only to doubt the next day. It was a back and forth battle. Every now and then a preacher or speaker at church would say something that would make me go crazy with doubts. I was floored one day when Jared was in Master Club teaching the little kids and simply asked if you believed with your heart. He went on to explain that you can easily believe in your head. Shoot Satan even believes that Jesus is who He says He is, but Satan isn't saved. I had never really thought of that before, but it was true. That got me to seriously thinking even more. Sure, I grew up in a Christian home and I knew that Jesus paid the debt for my sins, but maybe it was just in my head. Maybe it never quite reached my heart. It was more of a head knowledge for me.
This past week I asked my Sunday School teacher and his wife to pray for me and he sent me an email with a couple of questions on it that got me thinking even more. He asked do I serve Jesus because it was what I was raised to do? Do you serve because you know you should? Do you have joy in serving Jesus? I failed all of these questions miserably. I did do my jobs in church because they were what I was supposed to do. I didn't have true joy in doing them. Half of the time they were a burden that I didn't even want to do.
There were a couple of verses in the Bible that would get me every time I read them. The one in Acts 8 when Philip is witnessing to the Ethiopian and he says, "If though believest with all thine HEART, thou mayest." And then again in Romans 10 where it says, "That if though shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine HEART that God hath raised Him from the dead, though shalt be saved. For with the HEART man believeth righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation!"
Well, I was on my way to girl's night out yesterday (I had to stop at Walmart first to get some snackages.) when I turned on the radio. There was some preacher guy on the radio. I'm telling you...I do not like listening to talking on the radio....especially preaching, but for some reason, I left it on. This guy was talking on the radio about .....get this....... How there are many people who are full of the head knowledge of Jesus Christ, but it just hasn't ever reached their heart. WOW!!! It was like he was talking to me. He went on to say how there were lots of "almost Christians," and how you must have a private belief.....and then a public confession....how you couldn't just say the words unless you meant them from your heart. It hit me then, that I had never done that. I had never seriously, accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour. I had never allowed Him into my heart. I had never believed with my heart. So, right there in the Walmart parking lot...Jesus called me to Him, and I accepted Him as my personal Saviour. I'm saved now, never to have to doubt again. And let me just tell you. I feel different. I feel changed. I feel the joy of Jesus in me, and well, it feels great.